(An Untold Story from the Lockdown Era, I had broken my ankle, my partner was stuck in France and we were living off grid in Orgiva, down a long track, with an outdoor compost loo, hence the references to peeing in tupperware and the kids emptying my pot of urine!)

Oh, Bless him

He’s come down to pee

Relaxed as normal

Peeing in the Tupperware

With his hair all spiky innocence

smelling of yeasty sleep

Whilst I review the day

With a heavy heart.

I woke up

Tired because the screen kept me

And it’s groundhog day

Lockdown Life

My foot’s still broken

(Why won’t it heal?)

The kids are hungry

And breakfast begins…

Coffee, avocado on toast

Lemon juice, coriander, basil and salt

My two children asking questions

That I really don’t know the answer to.

Emptying my urine

Because their father is

Stuck, uncomfortably far

I scramble to keep up,

There is a butterfly batting against the kitchen window to rescue.

A fallen ukulele to pick up

Compost to empty and the endless washing up

Neither want to help

There are sensitive feelings to navigate now

It’s not nine and I am already tired

I try to get Spotify to work

A flash of a song

And suddenly I am dancing at 5 am in a Spanish nightclub aged 22

And the freedom shocks me

Here in my green paradise

With the plants ready to negotiate

I am wondering how my 82 year old mother in remission will cope with 12 weeks alone in London with her sharp memories

It’s a pang

And then a cacophony

as 3 insatiable cats I never wanted

Fling themselves at our door

I haven’t got the strength to let them in

A bottle of white wine gets brought down the track by a Belgian woman navigating complications

To be hidden from the Muslims next door

Who pray and shine

Knowing that death is a given

Who infects who?

Who is strong now?

I just don’t know that anymore

All I know is that;

it’s the tulip that showed bright red as I bled,

then opened indecently

And now will die

That teaches me more than facebook ever could.

And at one in the morning

At the end of the day

As I lie in the bath

Spent

Another day of hopping

On my tight thigh

I will send love

To us all.

And then sleep before:

Groundhog day begins again

Lego, trampolines, budding breasts, stories to write,

Avocado on toast

With lemon juice, coriander, basil

and salt down my cheeks.